Video game addiction and you: or did you ever suck !@#$ for World Of Warcraft?
South Park, yes I have been watching. After 10 years Trey and Matt have begun their slide into the throes of adulthood, that mainstream hole that most of us will eventually slink. The problem arises with how amusing I find them, especially the last few episodes I have seen. Man I am old.
The Dog whisper episode from last season was probably the best south park I have seen to date. If anyone is wondering what the correct way to raise their children is, well watch this episode. Even as I typed that sentence I was thinking about how ludicrous it sounded, getting parental advice from a cartoon. But let’s face it, good advice is good advice. Not letting your children rule you, just like not letting your dogs rule the pack, will stop almost every behavior problem that most parents face. If you have an aggressive child, or dog, watch it and learn. And before I get a bunch of emails about how thier children are not like dogs, ask Ceaser, not me. That man is a genius.
I digress, I came to talk about the World Of Warcraft episode and video game addiction, so lets dig in. I have been playing video games my entire life, at 35 I have played games that I felt were addictive. I have also found alcohol and drugs to be addictive, and sex, and pretty much anything else that I thought was fun. Let’s just break it down here. There is no difference between cocaine and wow. None. There is no difference between Budweiser and pot. There is no difference between a Twinkie and heroine. It’s all the person, and society’s acceptance of the diversion, that places these actions into deviant or acceptable. That being said I have to quote Bob Sagat in Half-Baked when he stood up at a NA meeting and asked the question “Did you ever suck dick for coke?”, as Dave Chapel looked on and reassessed his “addiction” to weed. What is addictive and acceptable and what is not is all about who is addicted.
I have read the forums, and I don’t want to sound mean, but lets face it, it’s a game. By the forums I mean the ones set up to deal with WOW addiction. I am beginning realize why our social order is organized in the fashion it is, why everything that is considered vice is placed away from the general public to a certain degree. Most people can handle it, most people will walk away. If your stressed out and need an escape however, and that escape is considered acceptable, then overindulgence is the result of your minds need to deal with stress. What is an addiction? It’s anything that you do to much. We all know what BS our society comes up with to justify individuals short comings. You can blame World Of Warcraft, you can blame your lousy childhood, you can blame your race, or your sex, or preference there of . The bottom line is, if your life is screwed up, if you avoid your wife and your children, or your school and your job to play a game, well then it’s you. I will even take it a step further and say that maybe those individuals that are given the chance will become addicted to anything, not just video games. If your life is screwed up, if your spouse or child is playing WOW for 16 hours a day, guess who’s fault that is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the games. “But little Timmy was such a good boy before he became a level 60 fury warrior”! Guess what, little Timmy would probably be hip deep in hookers if you let him. You need to watch that boy and watch him close.
My advice for people addicted to WOW. Turn off the damn game. Seriously. Put down the Doritos reach up with your stubby greasy finger and try to fumble the powerswitch to off. I play World Of Warcraft. I have been playing for probably 6 months on and off. What level am I? 24. That’s right, 24. No apologizes here. I cannot do what it takes to level as fast as these guys, which is basically shutdown 1/3 of my life for a game that I think can be boring. World of Warcraft to me is a lot of waiting around. And not just waiting around, but disappointment and waiting around. Imagine you going to the mall and before you can go in a store you need to get 5 people together and all agree to go in at the same time. You’ll have a couple people that are lagging, that don’t care. Maybe one who just flakes out on you and zones out, where the heck did he go, I don’t know, I just want to go in this damn store. Then when you finally get everybody together to run in, you have to take a crap. It wouldn’t be do bad if you could just take that crap, but you then need to justify taking that crap to all your party members. “Hey guys, sorry about this, one sec, I have to crap”. If you get a big enough group somebody always has to crap , or take out the garbage, or talk to their wife, come on! After an hour you have probably run ¼ through the dungeon then you need to go do something in your real life, guess what you can’t. Your stuck with these brainiacs you’ve brought together to do this task you have been over for the last 30 minutes. If you leave them now, their asses are grass and because you are about the same level on the same server, you will see them again. Oh yes, you can’t just leave, because next time you want to play these mental giants will remember the “ My Dad’s having a heart attack “ excuse from last time and refuse to bring you on their group. You are expect to do your part, even when the game ceases to be fun. I have not even scratched the surface of the weenies that form these guilds that expect you to devote 2 hours a night, or up to 30 hours a week to the cause. No, I am not exaggerating or insane, 30 hours. If you spent 30 hours a week drinking Natural Ice, where the hell do you think your life would go. How about 30 hours at the strip bar. What the hell are these people thinking. “Hey I have to go cure cancer….” , “What?!? were almost to the boss, just 5 more minutes!!”. This game is boring and tedious, find something else to do, seriously. Go to the strip bar, you can get a lap dance on tuesday for $15 bucks.
My advice for people in relationships that are being ruined by World of Warcraft, let me put it to you like this: Wife “agro” was one of the get out of jail free phrases my brother taught me early in the game, telling. You are not alone. But, hey, a lot of people have screwed up relationships, World of Warcraft is the catalyst that showed the problem, like that dye dentists use to see your cavities, or a black light for body juice on a hotel comforter. First thing you need to realize, when you share a diversion it makes life easier. If you were spending the day together at the zoo, or Disney world, would you be bitching about how much you were addicted to being outside, or holding hands? So the root problem here is not the addiction to the game, but rather the addiction to not being with you as much as you want.
Solution: start playing World of Warcraft. You want to spend more time with your family or friends? Your more then willing to go online and look for solutions to connect with that person in your life that you feel you have lost, and cry to other people with the same problem. Try doing what they are doing for a while, instead of what you feel is the *right* thing to do, like showering, and getting up to go to the bathroom instead of using that Gatorade bottle. I am sure they don’t stand over you harping about why you should be playing World of Warcraft with them for 3 or 4 hours a day. In fact, they probably don’t talk to you at all. So the world changes, people evolve, we do different things. Just because your loved one is doing something you don’t know squat about, your first reaction is to get them to stop doing it. Bad idea. Start doing it, and interfering with their play time. Cry about how no one will run the instance with you, or how you keep getting ganked, you need help. As soon as you become just as needy online as in the real world, they will listen. Play obsessively, level, and convince them to go on a pvp server. You can go in as the opposition and wax them while they are questing. They will probably make a new character and try to get away, but keep it up, they will eventually stop playing and try to find some other way to avoid you. When this happens, you have won! Your family member is now playing another game, or working, or some such nonsense. They are doing whatever it takes to stay away from you. Of course, by this time you won’t care because your guild wants you to do end game runs and your playing for 30 hours a week.
I hope my nonsensical rant has helped absolutely no one, it’s not meant to. It’s meant to be a diversion from the real world for a few minutes while you rest from your real life.What are you doing reading a blog for this long? You should be playing WOW, your guild needs you! /4 LFG